erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we made out on top of his cat.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
