Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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