I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
