Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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