If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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