Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
