i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
