it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
