So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
