Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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