I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good