I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
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I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
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Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.