Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die