Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize