She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
