took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
