we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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