I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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