this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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