my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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