i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
