i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
