his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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