dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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