I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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