We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
