What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
