I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
