I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
