didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize