I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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