It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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