you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
