the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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