Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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