Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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