Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
