Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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