Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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