Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
