Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize