Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
