O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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