R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
is it fun? or sober?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
