some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize