I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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