More tranny stories later!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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