I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
