i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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