so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
