Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
