omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
and you fell through a lawn chair
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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