You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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