So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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