Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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