Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
