ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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