He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We're too hungover to prance.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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