I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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