i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
