im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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