I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
