dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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