HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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