The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
