worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
